remember deep thoughts?




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Remember the good old days of SNL and Jack Handey? We were just being dumb last night and remembering~I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

*It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

*Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.



*When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

*One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

*If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

*I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!

*If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

*Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

*Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

*If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

*Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

*The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

*I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

6 comments:

  1. I loved Deep Thoughts. Thanks for the laughs, too bad SNL doesn't have good stuff like this anymore.

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  2. Hi there. I came over from Emily. I may have just lurked, but your SNL post had me cracking up, and I had to comment! I remember those days. Thanks for sharing...and making me laugh!

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  3. So maybe I'm too young to remember those, I don't even remember watching SNL but I loved reading through them. :)

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  4. Hehehehe, those are pretty good!!! Made me giggle too!

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  5. oh my gosh, i don't know how old this post is, but i am so glad i just happened upon it! jack handey always puts me in a silly mood! my bff in junior high used to pick me up for school and every day she would bring me that day's quote from her Jack Handey Calendar. It was the best start to a ridiculous junior high day!

    thanks for the throw-back!

    angie

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