“I am the stay at home mom of 3..how do I afford myself the time to do things I love and not feel guilty for it?? I have recently realized that i have completely let my home go...(it is clean, but as for the decorating part i really have done very little since child #1 was born 6 years ago)...and I am really sad about it. I haven't bought new decorations for the holidays or anything at all....things i used to LOVE doing.”
You all know the airplane analogy. What do those flight attendants tell you if the oxygen masks come down??
Put yours on first, then help the child next to you. Because it’s not going to do any good if you’re trying to help him put his on first and you both pass out. You need to get oxygen first, so you can both get the precious air you need to live.
What awakens you? What helps you feel alive amidst the dirty dishes, diapers, carpool, mounds of laundry, piles of mail, homework, runny noses, and bathrooms that need to be scrubbed?
My best advice would be: Find out what it is and make time for it and don’t feel an ounce of guilt for it.
For my mom, it was/is playing the cello. She would leave all 7 of us with my Dad on Thursday nights and play in the city symphony. We knew she was the best mom, but she also helped us see that she was a person with interests (gasp!) other than just us.
Now, Thursday nights are mine. After dinner, I let my husband do the dishes and put the kids down and I go to thrift stores and craft stores and Lowes and Target. Or just grab a hot chocolate and wander down the aisles of Barnes & Noble.
It is glorious. I usually don’t come home until after 11.
I live for Thursday nights.
The rest of the creating/blogging around here happens very s-l-o-w-l-y between naps and bedtimes and a few hours on the weekends. But here’s an important key: don’t feel the pressure to do it if you don’t LOVE it. Find out what awakens you. Read books and blogs that inspire you, not make you feel inadequate for not doing something you think you should be doing. (Ahem…Including 320 Sycamore!)
I used to take Saturday mornings and hit yard sales, but soccer games have overtaken that, so Thursday it is. The point is, you’ve got to make some time to pursue your passions. Work it out with your husband, trade with a friend, sign your kids up for parents’ day out at a local church, make it a priority for yourself.
The most important part of a home is not the things in it, but the feeling in it. And we all know how mom is feeling is the number one factor in how the home feels.
There will be different seasons in life to pursue different paths, but everyone can find something that fits now. So whether its running, sewing, parachuting, reading, writing, bargain hunting, gardening, yoga, crafting, music, politics, toothpick sculptures, home decor, painting, or kayaking, find out what it is and make time for it.
This is what gives me oxygen right now. Thanks to each of you for helping me breathe :)
Now, I would love to hear from you:
What awakens you?
How on earth do you make the time for it?