January 29, 2011

courage for the week 1.30.11

Bedtimes are the hardest for me….I’m exhausted, they’re just getting a second wind and it is usually not the time I shine as a mom. This quote  doesn’t make it any easier, but I try to remember it when I’m about ready to lose it (again).

august 2010 001 1

parents harold b lee



31 comments:

  1. Melissa, I am with you on bedtime not being the "time I shine as a mom." This quote is glorious. I am planning a whole remodel/update in the upstairs hallway this year (b/w the bedrooms) and I think I've found just the saying to frame/vinyl applique up there. What a great reminder!

    love ya

    angie

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  2. Thank you, it's just what I needed to hear...unfortunately for my children, I didn't read it before I put them to bed tonight :(

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  3. Thank you. I really like that quote. I can certainly be a kinder voice than I sometimes am.

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  4. Hi Melissa,
    I have 4 little ones and for a long time I have felt that night time is my time and I rush my kids off to bed after scriptures and prayers and I go jump on the computer or rearrange my house or even just sit and think. And heaven help them if they come back down for a drink! I am sad to say I used to cringe when I heard their little footsteps coming back down the stairs and I'd be soooo inpatient! But I remember when I was young my favorite part of the day was when I would lay at the end of my parents bed at night and just talk with them until they (lovingly) kicked me out of their room. I loved it and for some reason it was easier to talk to them then. My kids always want me to lay by them at night. So I made a new years goal to lay by them for at least a minute or two...which usually turns into 5 or 10. But I have to say, I love it now and feel like I am missing out on some tender moments when I don't. They are so sweet and love that precious one on one time. Our conversations usually start out with "Mom, what do you want for Christmas or for your Birthday?" But they turn into some great conversations. My kindergardener is worried about seeing his teacher when we get to heaven and when he marries Maggie, he wants to live right by me still. My second grader thinks I'm pretty and the best mom in the world and maybe he doesn't want to be a policeman after all (because that's a dangerous job), and he'll just be a ninja instead! He also shares his blanket with me and makes sure that it's covering my arms and feet so I'm not cold. And my fourth grader is lonely surrounded by all boys and wants a girl night every week, wants us to adopt a big sister, and has a small crush on a boy in her class! All found out in spending a measly yet very precious 10 minutes with them that I was saving all for myself!

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  5. I write this as tears stream thinking of my children when they were younger and the precious time I missed out on. My kids are 22, 20 and 18 now. What I wouldn't do to have their youth to do over again. LisaLou, you are so very blessed to realize what a gift nighttime is now, rather than later when they are grown and you expressed it so poignantly. Their childhood goes by so very, very fast. Enjoy every single second.

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  6. Have you tried the floppy game cd? You can download it on amazon. It's amazing, my kids were taking about 1 hour to go to sleep, this cd put them to sleep in minutes. It even worked with my friend's daughter who would have a 3 hour screaming fit if one of her parents would not stay in the room with her. It's seriously like magic!

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  7. Thanks for reminding us of something so seemingly inconsequential, yet so important. Thanks also to those who added their comments. I feel like LisaLou. I look forward to the down time/cath-up time when they're in bed. Each "Moooommmmmom" coming from their rooms frays me just a little more. I really have to talk myself out of showing it, and I'm not always successful. I also try to lie down with each one every night too, but it seems like I can come up with more and more excuses not to - - "you didn't listen to me tonight," "you took too long getting ready for bed and now it's too late," "it's way past 9p and you know I'm supposed to be going back downstairs at 9p and not just starting to lie down with all of you," etc. But, you're all right, if we can't give them just a couple undivided minutes to make them feel important, do we need to reevaluate our priorities? Moms, don't beat yourself up. We all go through it, but this is a good reminder to try just a little harder at bedtime. Just the thought of them drifting off to sleep with their feelings hurt or a little bit lonely, or longing for us pains me even as I write this. Besides, it's not their fault our lives are so crazy busy. It's not their fault they may outnumber us and made us feel spread so thin. If we can take advantage of a few minutes at night to build a bond and stay close, who knows what they'll confide in us as they get older, when it's really critical to their health, safety, and decisions that will affect their whole life. I know this has inspired me to try harder. Sorry for the long comment.

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  8. Thanks for sharing. I completely relate, and I know this post, this quote, and all the comments will help me do better.

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  9. you have no idea how much i needed the reminder today. no idea. and thank you.

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  10. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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  11. Love that quote. It's so true. Now that my little ones have little ones of their own I can not turn the time back and enjoy those little moments. That time is what they'll remember and want to emulate. Enjoy those kids! They are little for such a small amount of time. You will not be able to go back and do it again, even though you want to. Mimi

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  12. My kids are putting their own kids to bed these days, so I will lovingly pass President Lee's quote on to them. Sometimes I wish my own kids could be little again for just a moment. They were (and are) so precious. Keep finding good quotes for us!

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  13. Stopped by your blog from another one and read this post. It brought a tear to my eye, because bedtime is a tough time. They drag their feet, ask for more water, forget their special blanket, etc. to the point that I just want them to SLEEP! Thank you for posting this "poem." They will hear enough anger in their lifetimes and it doesn't need to be at bedtime. This will be what I think of next time I put them to bed (sigh, they are in lalaland right now).

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  14. I never comment, but this had me sobbing. I have come back several times to read it. I so look forward to your courage for the week posts. Such inspired words. Thank you!

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  15. Wow. That's a good one. A heart wrenching one.
    Bedtime for me is not my greatest moment either. (esp. when my husband is out of town and I'm extra tired from the day)
    The other night, with hubby out of town, I was so tired and child #2 wanted me to lay with him for a minute, I harshly said something about child #3 that was on my hip and how I had to put him to bed (by myself!) Anyway, after I put #3 to bed I went back to #2's room, layed with him and said, "I'm sorry I yelled at you." To which he says, "I'm sorry I called you a blah blah poopy girl." :) LOL He talked about me behind my back after I had left! :)
    THanks for this post!
    Have a great day.

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  16. All: My favorite part of these courage for the week posts? Your comments. Heartfelt and beautiful. And make me want to be better. Thank you for giving *me* courage for the week. Oh how we all need support, encouragement, and ideas from each other and to know that we're normal! xo

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  17. Thanks for this reminder. Wish I'd had it years ago when I felt overwhelmed all too often. I'm going to pass it on to my daughters. I remember reading about a little boy who once asked his mom at bedtime why she loved him more in the morning than at night. It was an eye opener for me.

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  18. I really, really needed to hear this, as well. I think I am going to frame this quote and hang it upstairs near my son's room. Thanks so much!!

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  19. really really beautiful. The quote as well as the comments.

    With tears streaming down my face, I have a new resolve to take longer at bedtime. :) Thank you.

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  20. Thank YOU for the quote. It was one of those very "testing" weekends with our son, and all I felt like I got accomplished was disciplining! Sometimes I get very frustrated and am hard on myself. This quote was definitely in due season.

    Thanks for your posts. They are always a highlight to my day. (Along with your wonderful creativity!!)

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  21. It's kind of understood in our home that Mom clocks out at 8pm. (Although lately it's more like 9pm.) I am so fried by bedtime that I had myself convinced that it was best for my mental health to have everyone tucked in and bedtime songs sung ASAP. My 11 year old always wants me to stay a little longer. I've been trying to do that, for these very reasons. Thank you for the reminder, and encouragement to just do it. She's 11. How much longer will she want me to snuggle with her? I think I'll take every 10 minutes I can get to bank for those teenage years. Thank you.

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  22. Thanks for posting this! I had never heard it before, and love it - I will definitely be printing it out and memorizing it!

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  23. Thank you for this sweet quote! I sometimes say, when everyone wants another little piece of me when it is past bedtime, "The mom shop is closed!" But do I really ever want the "mom shop" to be closed? There has to be balance here, of course, but what a sweet reminder that these times with our little ones are precious. I am already seeing this, since I have kids that range from 15 down to 7 months. The days (and bedtimes) sometimes drag, but the years truly fly by.

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  24. That quotation is lovely. Bedtimes are hard for me too. There are times when I insist on a "short" bedtime story or I know that I am kind of rushing through prayers. I will print that and try to do better.

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  25. I love, love this quote too. Thanks for sharing! I also wondered what font you use on these? I love it too!

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  26. JUST found this blog linking from another. You got to me with the Harold B. Lee quote. I love him, and I love your blog. I'm now a follower. Thanks for the beauty and inspiration.

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  27. I'm going to have to post that on my kid's door so I don't forget when it's most important! Bedtime is so rough (says the lady who is STILL trying to teach her 2 year old how to put himself to sleep and her 4 year old to sleep in her own bed.)

    I may not have any words of wisdom, but it sure is nice to know I'm not the only one who feels overwhelmed when night comes.

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  28. ooh this makes me want to be a better mum so bad! thank you for such a beautiful reminder! time to go rethink how we do bedtime!

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  29. Such a great quote! Thanks for sharing, I printed out and am going to post it somewhere I'll see right before bedtime (as well as throughout the day!)
    p.s. I LOVE the handwritten font you used!!

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  30. seriouslyahomemaker1/18/14, 8:49 AM

    Hi. It's me again. I was the first to comment on this "courage" post and perhaps I'll be the last. I just had to come back today and re-read this quote that struck me so wonderfully a month ago. I'm still imagining the remodel up in that hallway and now thinking that perhaps instead of the whole "artwork and fancy gallery-style" lighting thing I was planning up there, perhaps i could just make this quote, and a few others INTO the art. i dunno.

    also, it really makes me feel better that you admitted that bedtime is not your best hour. I admitted this to my MIL a few weeks ago as she was reminiscing about how much she used to love bedtime with her kids. I just couldn't pretend to share that sentiment and had to admit to her that bedtime usually bites :-). Now she won't speak to me. Just kidding. :-)

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