As I was getting ready to ask moms to write posts for this week, my heart turned to those who might be reading that would give anything to be a mom.
And then I kept thinking of Amanda, and knew I needed to ask her to write for us today. We were roommates for a year in college, and she is simply and quietly just an amazing woman. Thank you, Amanda!
“Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come.”
-Joseph F. Smith-
There were many hard years I didn’t think it would happen to me. Years where I had given up. Years my heart ached. Years I felt so alone. Years I yearned, hoped, prayed and dreamed that I would be granted the wish of my heart, the wish of becoming a mother. It seemed as if everywhere I turned someone else was making that exciting announcement that they were expecting or showing off their ultra-sound pictures. It was hard for me to understand how it could be so simple for others and for me so unattainable. After a lot of prayers, deep reflection and tearful conversations my husband and I came to realize that adoption was our answer.
And then finally, on a beautiful fall afternoon I received the phone call that our birthmother had just delivered a baby girl and that the placement of our daughter would be two days later. Words cannot explain the feelings I had in my heart the day Abby was placed in my arms. She was more beautiful and precious than I ever could have imagined. I was overwhelmed with emotion that day. I felt an intense love for this child and a deep appreciation for a young woman that gave me the greatest gift, the gift I had dreamed of for so very long, the gift of motherhood.
My husband and I were blessed again three years later to adopt our sweet baby boy, Boston, again so lovingly given to us by a beautiful birthmother that demonstrated unbelievable strength and faith. Boston’s birthmother is an amazing woman that I adore and feel so much love for. I believe her and I share a bond and love for Boston that is undeniable. Some say when a child is placed for adoption that the birthmother is giving up, taking the easy way out or must not love her child. I believe nothing could be farther from the truth. A birthmother shows the most selfless love by placing a child in the arms of another. I cherish the relationships I share with both our birthmothers and feel eternally indebted to them for what they have given for me.
Some days I cannot believe my children are mine, they are my little miracles. I look at them and realize they are direct answer to my prayers. I am so thankful I didn’t give up and learned to trust in the Lord. I am forever thankful for our beautiful birthmothers and their families. For their remarkable strength and unselfish choices that in turn gave me my sweetest blessings. They have taught me so much. When life gets tough, I often think of them and remember that I can do hard things. Adoption is not easy, not for either side, it is a journey of faith. I wouldn’t change my adoption experiences for anything. All the difficult years, all the tears and all the hurt and feeling so alone - it has all been well worth it to have two little kiddos that call me mommy!
Saturday, May 7th is Birthmother’s Day, it is recognized every year the day before Mother’s Day.