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I’m so honored to be here Melissa, thank you for including me in your “Things I’ve Learned About Being a Mom” series! Becoming a mom is a life changing experience and in my mind the most influential job a woman will ever have. I consider it an honor and privilege to be blessed with little souls and consider motherhood to be an amazing gift from God. I often marvel how I was entrusted with something so important as the ultimate caretaker in the life of another human being. I could talk for days about what motherhood has taught me but I’ll try to be succinct today and keep it short! Here are five things I’ve learned from being a mom.
A Swollen Heart. The heart’s capacity to love grows exponentially when we’re entrusted with the life of a child from the moment of their birth. Every step of their development adds a new layer so that after many years your heart swells as it grows larger and larger and by the time they reach adulthood, you’ve experienced great joy, pride, contentment, anxiety, and sometimes even sorrow all because of the layers of love that have built up on your heart.
Let's be honest. Some days I want to stay under the covers instead of face the many tasks that lay ahead. Each day I think I will get caught up, yet each day brings new surprises to remind me that there will always be more to do. More dirty clothes to pick up that didn’t make it to the hamper. More dishes to wash, and crumbs to sweep away. More school papers to sign, and more schedules to keep up with. Endless shopping, organizing, refereeing, loving, listening, and reminding.
As I was getting ready to ask moms to write posts for this week, my heart turned to those who might be reading that would give anything to be a mom.
And then I kept thinking of Amanda, and knew I needed to ask her to write for us today. We were roommates for a year in college, and she is simply and quietly just an amazing woman. Thank you, Amanda!
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“Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come.”
-Joseph F. Smith-
There were many hard years I didn’t think it would happen to me. Years where I had given up. Years my heart ached. Years I felt so alone. Years I yearned, hoped, prayed and dreamed that I would be granted the wish of my heart, the wish of becoming a mother. It seemed as if everywhere I turned someone else was making that exciting announcement that they were expecting or showing off their ultra-sound pictures. It was hard for me to understand how it could be so simple for others and for me so unattainable. After a lot of prayers, deep reflection and tearful conversations my husband and I came to realize that adoption was our answer.
And then finally, on a beautiful fall afternoon I received the phone call that our birthmother had just delivered a baby girl and that the placement of our daughter would be two days later. Words cannot explain the feelings I had in my heart the day Abby was placed in my arms. She was more beautiful and precious than I ever could have imagined. I was overwhelmed with emotion that day. I felt an intense love for this child and a deep appreciation for a young woman that gave me the greatest gift, the gift I had dreamed of for so very long, the gift of motherhood.
My husband and I were blessed again three years later to adopt our sweet baby boy, Boston, again so lovingly given to us by a beautiful birthmother that demonstrated unbelievable strength and faith. Boston’s birthmother is an amazing woman that I adore and feel so much love for. I believe her and I share a bond and love for Boston that is undeniable. Some say when a child is placed for adoption that the birthmother is giving up, taking the easy way out or must not love her child. I believe nothing could be farther from the truth. A birthmother shows the most selfless love by placing a child in the arms of another. I cherish the relationships I share with both our birthmothers and feel eternally indebted to them for what they have given for me.
Some days I cannot believe my children are mine, they are my little miracles. I look at them and realize they are direct answer to my prayers. I am so thankful I didn’t give up and learned to trust in the Lord. I am forever thankful for our beautiful birthmothers and their families. For their remarkable strength and unselfish choices that in turn gave me my sweetest blessings. They have taught me so much. When life gets tough, I often think of them and remember that I can do hard things. Adoption is not easy, not for either side, it is a journey of faith. I wouldn’t change my adoption experiences for anything. All the difficult years, all the tears and all the hurt and feeling so alone - it has all been well worth it to have two little kiddos that call me mommy!
Saturday, May 7th is Birthmother’s Day, it is recognized every year the day before Mother’s Day.
She is the mother of 5 children and blogs at Clover Lane about her passion: being a mom. In her own words: “I love old-fashioned values. I love keeping my kids young in a world that wants them to grow up fast. I love staying home and consider my role as mother the most important job on earth.”
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