I have a 5th grader now, a 3rd grader, and a kindergartener… (and a superman, thank goodness)
I thought I was ready…
ready to get back into a new fall routine, have glorious naptimes to myself again, and to dive back into projects, but
(I love the last minute instructions about getting on the bus he is getting from his sister here)
this was gut-wrenching for me. Maybe it’s because it’s her last year in elementary.
Maybe because sending one to kindergarten is always hard…
maybe it was these ones look as the bus drove away wondering where their best playmates just went…
maybe it was the bed that he made by himself before school…
maybe it was the kitchen that looked like this when I came back in…
but I just feel like this.
Like summer flew by and I hope we got everything we could have out of it. Because now they’re not mine all day and they’re older. And I wonder if I’m doing enough as their mom for them.
I know this is dumb because they’ll be bounding through that door at 3:30 bringing chaos and mountains of papers to be signed with them, and maybe it’s just the silence of naptime again, but man, I miss them.
p.s. if you’ve sent me an email in the last few weeks, I’m not ignoring you…I’m getting to them slowly. thanks!
I COMPLETELY understand!! Oldest is in first grade. We are on week number two now and it kills me every morning to know he will be gone for almost 8 hrs a day. He has never been away from me that long except when The Hubster and I took our house hunting trips. I will be a complete basket case next year when Littliest heads off with him and then I will sadly have no more at home....
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet post. I always felt that way when my kids went back to school too. Have I prepared them enough? Will they be alright without me? Being a mom is so joyful!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh - not to make light of your day but your little guy in his jammies is too cute for words! Love it!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a delightful person - this is exactly how I feel sending my kidlets off to school, too - I never knew I could FEEL my heartstrings tugged till I dropped my oldest off and said goodbye and watched her walk away. And wondering what will happen while they're away, if you've given them enough. I'm willing to bet that you've certainly given your children enough - that you do every single day. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteOh Melissa! Mine went back today too and I felt the same way...after yearning for just 5 minutes of peace and quiet all summer...the house is so different when they're not in it. Loved the picture of your little ones (adorable!!) and of your kitchen - exactly how mine looked after the mayhem of breakfast, packing lunches, etc.! Great post. Hope tomorrow is easier!
ReplyDeleteBless!
ReplyDeleteI felt the exact same way this year!
My three just started and I have one in 5th, one in #rd and a Kindergartner too! But unlike you I don't have anymore at home to be with. The silence is odd but the joy on their faces when they return in wonderful.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest will start preschool next year and it already makes me cry thinking about it! Life just goes by too quickly...
ReplyDeleteOn a totally decor related note - Is that a denim comforter on your sons bed?? Where did you find it? I've been looking everywhere and can't find one!!
Shanna~it's just a navy Target clearance comforter with some denim pillows. Have you tried Ebay or Ross/TJMaxx??
ReplyDeleteMelissa, you're kids are getting so big!! I still remember that little Lauren toddling around the church, which seems like not that long ago! Oh how time flies! This post about made me cry and my kids started two weeks ago. And I will be honest, I was a little glad to know that I'm not the only one who's kitchen looks like that in the morning. :) Love your blog and love seeing your make-overs & ideas. Thanks for sharing!! Hope you are all doing well.
ReplyDeleteOh well, it looks denim - lol! I've searched Ross & TjMaxx yes....Ebay no. I'm off to check it out! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteOh Melissa - Hugs! My kids are grown now, but I miss those shed tears from the first day back to school, when the bus pulled away. I used to get so depressed the last week in August knowing the following week {the Wed. after Labor Day} they were gone. I have to say that I really enjoyed having my kids home. I was a SAHM for 14 years and, believe me, I enjoyed every minute of it!
ReplyDeleteI did get a little teary at the bed your son made, but quickly switched to a laugh when you showed your kitchen! Gotta love 'em! : )
This post made me smile. My little one isn't yet school age, but I know it will be tough some day to pack her lunch and backpack and send her on her way.
ReplyDeleteSo hang in there - you've still got Superman :)
I love those teddies on his bed. How cute! I'm sure you have a busy afternoon hearing all their stories about their first day back!
ReplyDeleteCrazy Mom of 5 from Georgia here...I had a 5th grader and Kindergardner (with 2 1st graders) get on the bus a few weeks ago and I had tears in my eyes. Only my Kindergardner was my baby!Something about knowing that the 5th grader was going off to Kindergarden when that now Kindergardner was a wee baby...(sniff,sniff) However 3 weeks into school and I'm loving that quiet time...I'm sure you got over it real quick today when there was some down time today and you had time to organize a little too! Hope they all had a great day!
ReplyDeleteOh...I know how you feel. My little man went to Kindergarten this year too! Makes me want to cry at how fast he is growing!
ReplyDeleteI needed to read this today. My girls drove me up the wall all afternoon, and didn't get naps b/c of a meeting I had. But preschool starts for the 4 year old in two weeks, so I better enjoy it now, right??
ReplyDeleteawwww sweetie, I'm sorry to say but that sunflower pic had me giggling. It was the perfect picture for how it sounded like you felt & that first pic with all four of them and then the sister scolding - loved it.
ReplyDeleteHappy Naps! The Lady of the House
Oh, sweetheart! My heart just breaks looking at these photos! I'm so glad you have a Superman. . . but your superhero looked a little woebegone there as the bus was pulling away!
ReplyDeleteYou're right: it IS hard to have one in her last year of elementary school. It IS hard to have one go off to kindergarten. It IS hard to have two little ones left at home without their chums. But all is well. Furthermore, "all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well." Including you, sweet Mommy.
Ok I have never commented before, I usually don't comment on blogs of people I don't know personally, although I feel like I know you being that I'm a longtime fan of this blog and being that I'm friends with your adorable and oh so loveable sisterinlaw Kristine, but you really got me on this post! Oh how I can so relate! Thanks for all the great posts from those in the past and for those to come. I get so excited when I come to your blog and see a brand new post so thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteJamie
I'm with you on that! I totally felt that way yesterday when mine went off to first and third grade. It's the first year that both of my kids are in school all day! All my neighbors were waiting for me to do the dance of joy, but I was feeling a bit sad walking back from the bus stop all by myself. I will miss them, but I will keep myself busy with all the projects that have been on hold all summer until school lets out again.
ReplyDeleteI love that you saw the sunflower and put your feelings to that. That's great. In a sad way. But I appreciate the humor in it too. I hope you guys are all doing great! We still all love you in Lubbock. :)
ReplyDeleteI love reading your storyboard of pictures and commentary. And yes, I feel the same way about mine, and I was wondering if we did enough together this summer too.
ReplyDeleteThe picture of your kitchen just cracks me up! Mine looks the same way in the morning:) I'm impressed your son made his own bed. If only I could get my girls to do that too.
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry!! So tender. Thanks for the reminder to hold onto my babies.
ReplyDeleteI was just browsing back through some of your previous posts and came across the one about your brother's new home in Missoula. I was so pleasantly surprised to see their family picture and recognize them. My husband and I took a little vacation to Missoula and went to Church that Sunday in their Ward. They were the speakers that day- and did a wonderful job. We both commented on what a nice spirit was in the meeting that day. Please let them know we are grateful for their talks and their testimonies.
ReplyDeletePS: I love your blog- so I was excited to see all the posts I had missed.
ReplyDeleteI hope they all had a good first day. You, too! I love the picture of the bed he made by himself and carefully placed his teddy bears. So cute!
ReplyDeleteI understand completely! I have a too have a 5th grader, 3rd grader, kindergartner and a 17 month old at home. Only my 5th grader started the intermediate school this year. She sees so old.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you and my kitchen looks the same when they all get on the bus! Too funny!
They are quite the fashionistas on the first day of school, especially Superman.
ReplyDeleteNoun: fashionista ,fa-shu'nee-stu
1.A person who follows the latest high fashion trends
I think every mommy knows just how you feel! I have a kindergartner this year too, it was extra hard because she is my youngest...SNIFF... Every day when that school bus drives away with her I get choked up... and go home to an empty house that I hope I eventually learn to love...
ReplyDeleteI totally understand your feelings! This year our two girls (our only children) are in Kindergarten and 7th Grade which is the start of Jr. High here. Talk about melancholy!!! When my oldest daughter had a hard time sleeping the night before school started I went in her room to talk to her and say a little prayer of comfort for her. I was glad that it was dark so she couldn't see the tears running down my face! I am so happy that they are growing, and healthy and that I get to go to Target ALONE...but I really miss how much fun we had this summer and feel also, that it went by way too fast!! I love fall--it's my favorite, but it has taken me longer to embrace it because of school starting and feeling sad. Feeling like this is just something that all moms do! :) Love your blog! Visit it everyday!
ReplyDeleteWow, do I ever get how you're feeling! I only have 2, and my oldest just started kindergarten on Monday. When I walk him to school I have the hardest time leaving him with the playground attendant and walking away. And my younger one is in preschool now too, I thought I'd be so excited to have a break but I end up missing them all morning!!
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I'm a second grade teacher, so I'm always focusing on how the kids are feeling on their first day of school. I rarely think about how the parents feel! What a sweet post. I love the picture of your three big kids holding hands while waiting for the bus.
ReplyDeleteOH! My heart is breaking for the playmates left behind! Great pics.
ReplyDelete