Some things I have learned about being a Mom by Marty

04 May 2011

mom 2011
I am thrilled that Marty is here today! marty 2
She is one of the warmest, kindest, most encouraging bloggers in the blogosphere. She is the mother of 3, stepmother of 2, grandmother of 12, and great-grandmother of 1. She lives in Surprise, Arizona and she blogs at A Stroll Thru Life, where she takes “thrift to chic one project at a time.” 
I've learned that being a mom is a lifetime occupation. Every day is filled with trial and error and on the job training.  Your role changes everyday and the blessings are unbelievable when you first start the journey.

1. When my children were growing up the most important thing I learned was to be a listener.  One on one time to hear their joys, their cares and their hopes.
2.  To be an encourager.  (If that's a word)  Help them to reach for the stars and become the best they can be.

3.  You are not always your child’s best friend.  Having clear rules and guidelines of acceptable behavior gives them security and shows how much you love them.  I've also learned to apologize when I'm wrong.
4.  I've learned that at any given minute you might be a referee, a nurse or rolling on the floor in laughter.

5.  I've learned that you Pray and Believe your hardest when a child or grandchild is in a wreck and in a coma, or breaks both legs skiing, or even has a fever.

6.  I've learned how important it is to accept of their choices in life.  Their careers and their mates are their choices and need to be embraced whole-heartedly.

I think the hardest thing to learn is to let go.  You are still mom, just in a different role.  Now you watch them go through the trials and joys of life from a distance.  You still share these times with them, and you get the calls for advice, but the choices are theirs and sometimes you see them make the same mistakes you did.  Just like when they were children, you help pick them up, dust them off and encourage them to try again.

Being a grandmother is a different role again, learning to honor your children’s rules and guidelines for their own children.  Sometimes you're asked for advice and sometimes you have to be still and be quiet.  They have to go through the same trial and error you did in raising them.  Being involved in your grandchildren's lives and activities gives both your children and your grandchildren a support group that is invaluable, plus the blessings of knowing them and watching them grow into adults are too many to count.

Being a great-grandmother just starts the process all over again.  You see your children learning to let go and become a grandparent too. 
The memories are all so sweet.  One on one play dates.

Watching them dunk each other in the pool.

The graduations.

The weddings.

And trying to get a family picture.

I think what I've learned the most is you don't have to be a super mom, you just have to be there through all the stages of their lives with love, caring and support no matter what life throws at them. I've also learned they forgive you for all your mistakes, because they know you really care.


  1. Marty@A Stroll Thru Life1/8/14, 2:58 PM

    Janet, thank you for your kindness and special comments. I really appreciate it. Hugs, Marty

  2. Hi Marty-

    Such a wonderful post. Mine are grown, too - 24 and 21. I like how Amanda from Serenity Now describes experienced moms -" Moms who have been in the trenches" - cute expression - but so true :) I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day. xo

  3. I loved your last don't have to be a super mom, you just need to be there and let them know you care. After spending a few days in blog world, and blog hopping, its so easy to feel overwhelmed, as if on the mom chart you have fallen a few notches. But you are so right...being there is the best thing we can do. Listen...and enjoy them. Thanks for sharing!

  4. This is beautiful, Marty! I am just learning to deal with this phase of my life with my kids as they are now 24 and almost 21. They do still ask for our advice, but ultimately their final decisions are their own. Being a grandmother has been a wonderful experience for me, and thankfully, I only mention to my daughter what was done when she was a baby - I don't say "you should do it this way". Things have changed over time so sometimes your child may know better than you!

    Kathy at Creative Home Expressions

  5. Anita @ GoingalittleCoastal1/16/14, 10:40 PM

    I agree, Marty is one was the sweetest bloggers out there! Great advice. As my kids are getting older I have had to learn #6. It is a hard one, being a mom we are used to making the decisions when they were little. I look forward to the day of grandchildren. I think it will be a lot of fun!

  6. This was wonderful coming from Our Dear Marty! We're blessed to have her in Blogland.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  7. Marty@A Stroll Thru Life1/16/14, 10:44 PM

    Thank you so much for your kind and gracious comments about being a mom. It's truly a wonderful lifelong occupation. Have a very Blessed Mother's Day. Hugs, Marty

  8. Marty@A Stroll Thru Life1/16/14, 10:44 PM

    Shelia, you are such a dear, thank you for the kind comments. Hugs, Marty

  9. Marty@A Stroll Thru Life1/16/14, 10:44 PM

    Melissa, thank you so much for having me today. I enjoyed being part of this wonderful series. I really enjoyed yesterday's post and I look forward to the others. Hugs, Marty

  10. Marty@A Stroll Thru Life1/16/14, 10:44 PM

    Thank you so much for your support and kind remarks. I really appreciate it. Hugs, Marty

  11. Marty@A Stroll Thru Life1/16/14, 10:44 PM

    Oh how I can relate to not feeling like I was and am doing the right things and living up to what a mom is suppossed to be. I am sure you are a very special and loving mom and your children adore you. You are there and you care, how much more is there. I hope you have a very special Mother's Day. Hugs, Marty

  12. Marty@A Stroll Thru Life1/16/14, 10:44 PM

    Anita, thank you for the gracious comments. You are so kind. Yes, I agree #6 is one of the hardest. Have a very special Mother's Day. Hugs, Marty

  13. Marty@A Stroll Thru Life1/16/14, 10:44 PM

    Thank you for your kind comments. Yes, it is wonderful to be a mom and a blessing that we always will be. Happy Mother's Day. Hugs, Marty

  14. So good to hear advice from Marty, as mine are now 17 and 21. Agree, you will always be a mom...the role just changes.

  15. Truly touching and put so beautifully. Thank you Marty and Happy Mother's Day to you !


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