some random thoughts...

03 November 2009

I love fall traditions.

We usually go out to the pumpkin patch, and take a hayride, and drink apple cider, and get gorgeous pictures as the sun goes down.

We make donuts and watch Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.
We carve pumpkins.



I get all of the costumes ready to go, complete with the makeup and accessories and can't wait to take pictures of my cutie pies.

We didn't do any of that this year because our house went on the market and we were frantically finishing last minute projects around the house to get it ready to go.

We didn't go out to the pumpkin patch, or make donuts, or carve pumpkins.

I was digging through the dress up box we took to storage for last minute costumes.

There was no makeup or cute accessories and they used plastic grocery bags for their candy.
I felt like a bad mom.

But do you know what?

The kids didn't even notice. Neither did anyone else.

They had a blast and were as excited as any other year.

They were still proud of their costumes, they still looked adorable, they still ran from one to the next with their bags outstretched and sorted all their candy into colors when we got home and thought it was the best night ever.

Do you think that sometimes we put pressure on ourselves to have "perfect" holidays when our kids are satisfied with simple pleasures that don't cost anything? That the time, planning, money spent, preparation, and activities are really more for us?

Do you think it's bad that I want to duct tape my kids to the couch and play movies all day so they don't mess the house up before a house showing?

Having a "perfect" house is not for me...

I told you this was random...if you're still reading, thanks for listening.

32 comments

  1. I am SO guilty of this!! It was confirmed as I spent time getting costumes together and one decided to stay home, the other decided she didn't want green face paint, the next didn't want a mask or cape or lightsaber, and the baby, well she was just there to be cute while and get treats for ME!:) I think our kids remember and cherish feelings far longer than they do details. LOVE YOU!

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  2. Melissa I hear you 100% I aspire to greatness, but fall short all too often! Dont we all?!?! Selling a home is SO stressful, that I am just happy you got to relax and enjoy these precious moments!

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  3. There are great words of wisdom in your post!!
    The duct tape thing had me cracking up!!

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  4. You are so right Melissa! I've given up overdoing things, it just seems so fake at times. So my daughter and I just do what we feel like doing and don't worry about what we "should" do.. I think she's turned out well anyway..

    If you get a chance please visit my blog..it's new, not so pretty but I would appreciate you taking the time. I've been following yours for a while now (unofficially until I launched by blog).. thanks!!! Good luck with the move, I feel for you!

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  5. Good luck selling your home. Just think, you will have lots to show us with a new home in your future!

    I suspect that your children appreciate what you have done in the past. It has made them love Halloween and they know that you care about them. So skipping a year of some of the fun doesn't dampen the spirit of what you have taught them.

    (P.S. That picture scares me. Is it suppose to?)

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  6. I've gotta admit - I wish I'd thought of the duct tape first. :)
    When we sold our house, it was the longest two weeks of my life. Obviously that's not very long, but it was nearly impossible to keep it clean and ready to show at a moment's notice. Hang in there. God will bring the right buyers who will appreciate all the love you've shown your house.

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  7. LOL!!! Sounds all too familiar girl. Melissa, I tried to do it all when my kids were little and it was so important to me that everything was perfect. Iwish that I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have been so stressed out. The kids didn't care if everything was perfect or not, they just wanted to have fun! You are not a bad mom, but perfectly normal. Good luck in selling the house right away so you don't have to stress about keeping it clean all the time!!

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  8. you are so VERY right! WHy do we always sweat the details??? when they just want to blow some bubbles????

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  9. I'm with you, Melissa! Our house has been on the market for 3 months. Just took it off for the holidays because I plan on enjoying them. We'll go back on in February. I hope you have a quick sale.

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  10. Well that's what we all did every Halloween and I remember practically throwing up with excitement. Our holidays started the day before! Our mothers were smart! I think all that stuff is TOTALLY for US...not them. Which is sad!!!
    And the duct tape...so funny. I don't think a couple of little kid messes...toys, etc..are going to stop anyone from buying your beautiful house! (But I can totally relate!)

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  11. Beautiful picture by the way! Love the editting. I just sold our house w/a deployed hubs, a 3 year old boy, a newborn boy, and a dog and found it ridiculously helpful to have a movie (or cartoons that you can rent through Blockbuster) specifically for the days when I had an hour until a showing and needed to touch up. I also had a laundry basket (a giant one) that I would throw everything that couldn't be easily cleaned up into. I don't know if it helps, but I figured I'd pass it along. I know how stressful it all can be. Good luck!

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  12. Sure we do it for us and for them, we want them to have fun memories and maybe wonderful traditions to pass down. We strive for the expressions on their face when we have gone above and beyond, it is a "mom" or "parent" thing. In our children's eyes we want to be the "cool" parent and the place where all the kids want to hang out, so yes, we do this for us and for them.

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  13. We have four kids and we've sold two houses in the last two years. NOT fun. At all.

    The second time around I shipped a couple of them off to the grandparents house and that really helped. But it was still hard! Your house is so pretty though so surely it will sell quickly.....

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  14. Duct tape your kids to the couch is TOO funny. I was picturing that in my mind!!!

    You are correct. We put too much pressure on ourselves which in turn sometimes ruins it for our kids. Thank you for the reminder!

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  15. Been there done that and you will survive! Duck Tape would be nice! We sold our home four months ago and delt with the madness for three weeks. Alot shorter than we had anticipated but it still felt like forever. It is soooo tiring trying to keep the house spotless but my boys ended up getting into it by straightening the pillows before we left for a showing and going around turning on all the lights. Those ended up being their jobs. They were really good actually. We spent many afternoons sitting down the street from our house waiting to go back home while watching movies in the mini van.
    I pray that your home sells quickly!!

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  16. things i get to look forward to when i have kids :D great post.

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  17. So easy to get caught up in it, but the kids really don't care (much)!

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  18. Ya know what? We didn't do any of the "big things" either. We didn't even go trick-or-treating. We stayed home and our family's best friends came over (our girls are BFFs, the mom and I are BFFs and our husbands are BFFs, too). I let them carve the pumpkins we had been gifted, we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows & made homemade caramel apples. It was relaxed and simple and soooo much fun! No costumes, no rushing, just laid back & relaxed. It was the best Halloween ever.

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  19. Listening to my 17 year old the other night upset with a young mom friend of hers, I realized that I didn't do 'half bad'. I too stressed for YEARS that everything just had to be 'right' for events, holidays, special occasions. *I* missed OUT on some of the FUN while STRESSING over it. The kids NOTICE the stress not the money spent. The REAL VALUE is in how they FEEL. Wish I'd known this years ago. I say this as I am writing notes for dinner tonight...getting off work early bc my 23 yr old son will be home (rare) and I want to make the night 'special'. LOL I am shopping the house and setting a tablescape, making a fav SIMPLE dish of his for dinner and will light candles. So it's still low key...but hopefully we can sit around the table and just ENJOY.

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  20. lololol that was the best thing ive heard in a looong time!!!! you're not alone!!! that was awesome, i needed a good laugh! :)

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  21. You hit the nail on the head with that one, Melissa. Honey, if those are your random thoughts, your organized thoughts must be like masters theses!

    Oh, how I hate trying to keep a house ready to show. Been there, done that. Several times. With three boys and dogs. Bless you.

    I'll pray for a quick sale!! And for peace for you.

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  22. Guilty. as. charged. your honor. This was probably the BEST "random" thing you could tell me today. I once tried to talk my kids out of hanging their stockings because they didn't "go" with my holiday color scheme! :( Oh my, yes I did.

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  23. I've read your blog for quite a while now, but I've never commented. Today, I felt that I had to. I loved this post, and it is so true. Life gets so hectic and busy and we lose sight of what's important. Thank you for sharing this. I needed to read it today. :)

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  24. Your such a hoot in your writing...but I agree with it all!

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  25. Thank you for keeping it so real! I am horribly guilty of all of the things you mentioned. Your "random" post was exactly what I needed to hear!

    Thank you, thank you!

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  26. Oh wow, I can so relate to this! When we were working on selling our home Elise threw up all over the floor 5 minutes before a showing. I called the realtor and he gave me an extra FIVE minutes to get things cleaned up. ( He obviously was not a mom)! Thankfully I have a shampooer so I was able to get it cleaned up and then I ran around the house like a made woman with a loaf of pillsbury italian bread fresh from the oven to try and cover up the smell! This all served as a little reminder that no matter what you do to prepare you can't control everything so you just have to make the best of it! Good luck with your house sale!

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  27. He he he...love the duct tape! I sometimes want to do that on average days and my house isn't even on the market. ;)

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  28. Everyone want to duct their kids to something once in a while... that you DIDN'T do it is what makes you a GOOD mom!
    Great pumpkin patch pic by the way... really sweet.

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  29. Melissa I so love love love this post! I really needed it and couldn't have said it better! Just Awesome! Thank you!

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  30. I think so. I was kind of bummed because the kids didnt paint pumpkins this year. We always carve them and they paint the little sugar pumpkins. But they never mentioned it.

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